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Dr Heinz Messerschmidt, head of vaginal reconstruction at the hospital, would like to take this opportunity to thank townspeople and patients who kindly continue to help raise cash for our ongoing Horse Drawn Ambulance Appeal.
As many of you will know, following the sad loss of out last ambulance during a mercy dash on the cliffside road in the fog last winter, the residents of the town have been engaged in raising funds to replace the lost vehicle, and to import replacements for the lost horses, Stalin and Pol Pot.
Stalin and Pol Pot pulling an emergency hernia case before the accident
Dr Messerscmidt is pleased to announce that the hospital have taken delivery of the new cart this week. Unfortunately as we have still to raise sufficient funds for the wheels and new horses, the cart is currently being carried from incident to incident by a team of sweating red faced hospital porters.
We hope to remedy this situation soon, and the funds raised the upcoming sponsored coughing marathon being held by asthmatics in the smoking hall of The Harse pub may soon see us close on our target.
We would also like to thank residents for the kind suggestions of alternatives to the horses, however following Old Mrs Bryce's recent stroke during her shift answering a call on the steep cliff road, we have decided to wait until suitable livestock becomes available. Thanks too for the many suggestions for names for the new beasts, and the competition is now closed.
Our eventual winner was Harry Holiday of class 3c with his ingenious suggestion of Cancer and Death. Your horse skeleton is in the post.
Many thanks again to all fundraisers and keep up the good work !!!
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