You want it? We got it. And probably cheap too.

 

 

 

Heavily soiled underwear for sale. Gussets perished. Some taught elastic remains. May suit deviant. £ 25 o.n.o. Will deliver. Box 15.
Scab Collection. Mounted collection of scabs for sale. May suit collector or dermatological historial. Includes full set of rare partially picked Bicycle Accident Skint Knee 1975's, chickenpox, impressive carpet burns, the lot !! Must be seen.Leprosy forces sale. No timewasters. Strathcarnage 7266
Train Crash for sale. Partial derailment near neglected points. Plenty hideous disfigurements. Cutting equipment and fire engine included. Unwanted gift. Will accept £20 or swap for a spectacular car crash or bloody combine harvester incident. Strathcarnage 3652
Suitcase of bad language for sale. Includes industrial strength expletives and assorted naval grade filth. Buy it now, you dirty f****n w**k mouthed c****s !!! Would suit jaded Tourettes sufferer. F*cking £ 5 ? It's a steal. Strathcarnage 2754
Pronounced squint for sale. Unusual angle. £20 o.n.o.
Partially skinned corpse for sale. Anatomy homework gone wrong. Buyer collects. Box 46
Complete Set of whale foreskin covered barstools. Unique talking point. Ideal seating for a well ventilated room. Box 33
Quantity of partially masticated chocolate for sale. Buyer collects from Hitchcock & Chalmers Undertakers mortuary. Genuine reason for sale (choking). Please bring own long handled spoon and cup. Phone Glenn on Strathcarnage 3765 for details of viewing times.
First Time Donut Maker requires open minded woman with sugary fingers for hole modelling. Box 44 
Raving Nancy Boy Lawyer seeks acceptable level of consentual domination under 1973 European Human Rights legislation. Must have own balaclava. Box 221
Higher, Lower, Faster, Harder. Play your Cards Right fanatic, F, 67, seeks her own Bruce Forsyth for light entertaiment and hardfought anal prizes. Must have own oversized playing cards. Box 6
 I'm a middleweight, M, 36, you're a lightweight F, 20-40. I look forward to licking you repeatedly in the ring. Box 453

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




 For Sale. Hideous picture of kittens playing with a human heart. Unsigned but believed to be the work of recently convicted local artist Johnny Humble. Nice detail but increase in medication forces sale. Will accept £50. Quickly please, make it go away. Strathcarnage 7736
For Swap. May sell if extortion applied. 60's signed print of Yamashika's "Burning Orphange". Slight damage to pile of charred corpses in corner. Will accept Crippled Rabbit etching. P.O.Box 27
 Lopsided pottery available. Phone One Armed Jim for pricelist and catalogue, Strathcarnage 2665